incandescently lovely

          here i am, 25 years old. 8:30 or so and already in my pajamas. sitting on my usual spot on the living room floor, drinking wine and eating cookies. my sister, 23 and a successful graphic designer made herself a super healthy dinner, did her dishes and is busy doing some editing for her company in her room. i made some soup and my dishes from 4 days ago are still in the sink.
            it made me start to think about how different people are. we look similar, get along fairly well but in most aspects are completely opposite. she likes off-white and brown and i like neon green and black. she went to the gym at 4:30am this morning and i overslept til 8:15am. in some ways i'm jealous of her discipline and commitment to working out, eating healthy and being successful in her career. really, who wouldn't want to be healthy, fit and successful? in other ways, i'm ok with being lazy and lost still. i don't have career...i have a job and have no clue as to my career path. i currently hold a BA in human development, am getting my AD in nursing and am applying for my masters in counseling psychology. now if that isn't lost, i'm not sure what is. i've tried tapping into my creative side- making flower clips, painting, taking photographs but it doesn't look like any of that will be promising as well. i have been asking people what they think i should be doing but obviously no one will be able to correctly answer that for me.

  i guess for now i will enjoy my wine and cookies.